People who didn’t study philosophy.
People who did study philosophy, but only as an elective.
People who know they should tidy their room, but never do.
People who don’t know who Leucippus is.
People who are constantly reminding you that “so-and-so didn’t actually first invent that, you know.”
People who burn incense.
People who cross their legs in a slightly stiff and awkward way.
People who are suspicious of beans.
People who express overly convoluted arguments to justify things that we all already agree with.
People who like art, but know little about science.
Highly intelligent, highly irritable men.
Americans who call him “dez-car-dees” and love saying “I think therefore I am” but don’t know what “cogito ergo sum” means.
People who read Newsweek, but only because they haven’t yet discovered The Economist.
Jolly people with a lingering sense of urgency.
People who are never, ever late.
People who wear their collars turned up, and probably earn more than you.
People who wear berets, but shouldn’t.
People who got the heebie-jeebies from watching The Matrix.
Fops and cads.
People who pause in conversation, grasping for the longest word they can think of to express a simple idea.
People who came to philosophy during the most awkward 15 minutes of their teenage years.
People who secretly enjoy romantic comedies.
Men with beards and women who don’t wear makeup.
John Stuart Mill
People who like scotch and soda.
People who wear different coloured socks.
People who take just that bit too long precisely dividing the bill after dinner.
People who secretly want to smoke a pipe.
People you’re always surprised to see in the queue to the latest Hollywood blockbuster.
People who once smoked – and may still do – even though they hate it.
Simone de Beauvoir
Men who think quoting philosophy impresses women; women who aren’t impressed by men quoting philosophy.
People with a disconcerting lazy eye, so you never know if they’re talking to you.
Maurice Merleau Ponty
People who complain about missing the great art exhibition that just left town.
People with expansive bookshelves, prominently displayed, few of which have been read.
Good looking people who wish they were better looking.
People who fantasise about working for Obama.
People who are polite but insistent, and who wear comfortable shoes.
People who still like merlot, no matter what anyone thinks.
People who don’t say much, but when they do, you sit back and listen.
People who don’t get sarcasm.
People with a disarming, but condescending, smile.
People who confuse a conversation for an argument at dinner parties.
People who have never watched commercial television.
People who don’t know anyone who actually does watch commercial television.